For me, freedom is...
Since you are here,
Lisa L'Heureux is the author of 7 books. Her work includes the Lisa's Sober Blog Series, This and the Man in the Moon and This One is About Domestic Violence. She lives in Alberta with her family.
4+ years ago, Lisa took a life-giving "retirement", quitting practicing alcoholism.
I know I do write quite a bit about some scary life experiences I have had. I have some other memories. There were times when I was a child that I spent long afternoons playing Barbies with the two sisters I grew up with. In the wintertime, there were massive snowbanks where we would dig tunnels, and we would also go sledding and skating. Our parents used to take us camping in the summertime. We would swim and eat hot dogs cooked over an open fire. My Mum made this kind of bannok cooked on a stick and fill it up with jam for us on these camping excursions.
It's becoming important to me to keep those good memories in mind. With practice, it can become natural to think positive, almost all the time. Three years ago, I couldn't think positive, at least barely ever. I had been trying to quit smoking for a long time. It was my smoking habit that brought out the problems that my long drinking career had been creating in my life. Every area was affected. When I tried to quit these things, I was miserable, every day. Today, and I know that today could be my last day, I concentrate on thinking about things that are uplifting or at least subjects that don't bring me down.
I talk and write about all these things that happened to me when I was growing up and as a young adult because it is in the past, my past, it's what I know. This is what happened. An uncle told me that I should create a character to write stories about, insinuating that my books are no good, he never read a one. He doesn't know. But I thought, why would I create a fictional character? I am right here. And my story is at least as good as something I could make up.
This is where positive thinking can come into play. I was up late into the night reading articles when I started to research something, I forget what it was that brought it about, but I went down a dark path of symptom checking. By the time I went to bed, I was convinced that I had some rare disease. Except, in most instances, only Caucasian men ever have it. When I awoke, I was feeling optimistic and shed whatever it was that had caused me to get thinking terrible. Grateful for the day, I went about my usual business.
The spring of the year I quit drinking I was overweight and lost 15 pounds, then after I quit in September, I slowly lost twenty pounds over a period of about two years. I quit eating meat and other animal products, rarely eating sugar, other processed foods, etc., and lost another fifteen pounds. After this, I had food-poisoning. I lost some more weight, becoming rather underweight. I think I understand how fragile a person can be. How quickly life can be taken away. One good flu and I could have been kaput. But I am healthy.
I think I was officially shedding the last fat that I had begun to accumulate somewhere between the ages of 11 and 13. Surely I was experiencing the toxins from those fat cells being released into my system. I emotionally felt so awful. Even this, positive thinking was no match for! I took a day off.
I recently started taking a mindfulness course. This is how I keep it together. I also work a lot. I watch as much television as possible. I enjoy life in a way that I never did before. This is a time that will never happen for me again.
With all the powerful and unstable events happening in the world today, I can not possibly know what tomorrow may bring. With that I know how much living is just for today. Sometimes, just for this moment.
I am Lisa L'Heureux. As some of you know, I had been involved in violent and abusive relationships for much of my life. What I now think is this, being mean doesn't mean that a person is tough. Instead, in my opinion, a person that can face daily life and handle everyday emotions is much more solid than someone who goes around getting what they want through intimidation and manipulation. Kindness also makes a person strong.
I always thought that it was considered a weakness to show love. I rightly believed that love makes a person vulnerable. I still think that is true but I no longer believe that it is bad to be vulnerable. It is a part of the human condition. There are people who will take advantage of a person when they are vulnerable. This is the way of the abuser, I suppose.
As with any of the other issues I had picked up over the years, I am certainly not out of the woods with this Domestic Abuse thing, either. After all, I had managed to attract at least 10 abusive people into my life before now.
Is it true that we create our lives? Do we actually bring a certain kind of people into our lives? I noticed that since I quit drinking for quite a while there are no people in my life that are exceedingly judgy anymore. There is no one that causes rifts or that I cannot handle being around. I will not have it. Maybe life doesn't have to be as difficult as I once thought. Or maybe it does.
I don't know all the answers. All I can do is what I am able. I can meet and talk with people about Domestic Violence. I am able to help raise awareness. I can be a part of initiatives that focus on prevention, safety planning and education. I wasn't able to see that I could leave my abuser. I thought that he would forever be stalking me. He... I should say, they. Now that I have been through all I have and come out on the other side, I have a different perspective.
Feel free to share your thoughts on the Domestic Violence Crisis in the comments section.
My Twitter Bio says "I used to think that it would be horrible to be a drunk until I woke up old one day so I quit drinking to watch myself grow old." At the end of my drinking career, I had all but lost hope for my sobriety, I was trying to quit unsuccessfully at the time. I had plans that I thought I was ready to execute. Those previous plans were thwarted by my inability to quit drinking on my own and salvage what I could of my then life.
Moving past all those broken dreams; I was getting very sick and aging in body, I thought, rather quickly. I was alarmed because I didn't get to live yet. I had what I considered a very bleak outlook for life from the beginning and dotted all throughout. There was no opportunity for me. My drinking and/or someone else's drinking had destroyed my life. I was daily drinking at the end and it became my greatest fear that I would not see myself get old now that I had begun to realize that I might continue to live after having done it for quite some time by then.
So there I was, falling apart at the seams, what was I to do? At long last I was delivered from my alcoholism. Two miserable years past and I learned how to live better than ever. Life was starting to look like it actually held promise. I continued to be sick even though I had not touched a drink, drug or cigarette in more than two years. Now what? How could I salvage what was left of my health and my life?
I had been watching documentaries about people who had changed their diets and exercise regimens in order to get their health back. For more than two years I had been studying what people had done to get healthy and yet I was aging quickly and hurting from all the years of drinking and smoking but didn't know what I should do.
Finally, I decided that I wasn't going to go down like that, without having had a life to speak of up to then. These were my beliefs. I designed a diet for myself, a lifestyle change type of a diet that I could go into my new life with. I now believed that I could have a new start. If I could get my health in check, I could have another chance.
After altering my diet and exercising a little bit, I felt much better and began to see that my aging appeared to slow, although I was now much interested in the aging process. After all, I had believed I was ready to die as a young teenager and now it seemed that I might live to be an old woman. I have been taking every course I can to learn more about food, diet, aging and health. I have a better quality of life. Something to Tweet about.
“Capitalizing on my life and skills through words, arts and music, towards success in continuing to help others”
When I was a little girl I wanted to be a writer. My favorite books were the Anne Of Green Gables series. I was adopted as a young child and I imagined that somewhere I was important to someone too. I was not particularly close to my adoptive family growing up and neither was I close to my biological family after meeting them again as a teenager.
I moved around a lot during most of my life after I left home at sixteen, well, thirteen if you include going to live with relatives. They say that if you have a problem with everyone then it is not everyone who has a problem but the problem is within yourself. I was depressed right up until a couple of years ago when I began my recovery process.
A few weeks ago I was watching some sad romantic movies and I was starting to feel low. I thought, what am I doing? I am doing this to myself. I am causing myself to feel sad by watching these movies! About a month earlier I had been listening to my music playlists and I noticed that many of the songs were about lost love or some other sad thing. I realized that I have been feeding myself all this. Yes, I had a rough life, majorly caused by my own grief. The rest happened but why did it have to have such a long-lasting impact? I decided to make a change. I created a new playlist, Lisa's New Fun Happy List on YouTube, and even knowing that is what the name of it is makes me feel better.
I do not know for how long I kept seeing a picture of this one guy that used to torment me when I was a teenager on Social Media. One day, I noticed how much this bugged me, seeing his picture so I blocked him. Instantly, I wondered why I had done this and unblocked him. I looked at some of his pictures. He looked physically healthy and happy. I see that he is a Dad. I considered what kind of a guy he was and how the saying goes about a tiger not changing their stripes. I wondered if I could forgive him and I discovered that I could and I did. I had been holding this for so long that it was a natural part of who I am. This bullying had happened so long ago. I had finally let it go.
Now that I am a woman, I want to write and I do. I wrote my favorite books. I am important to someone.
Here it is. My first blog post at The New Lisa L'Heureux. I am excited to write about some new topics, as well as continue writing about sobriety and business. Recently, I asked a woman for a volunteer writing position at her website which talks about motherhood, she replied something about me not being the right type of writer for that, I wouldn't fit in there. I am but an everyday writer telling my story because it's what I know. Isn't it funny how easy it is to judge oneself on the basis of what someone else thinks? I will not get fired from myself. I am the perfect for this.
I have been writing since I was a little girl. I was the one who kept a notebook as a teenager and wrote poems, songs, plays and love letters. Once, one of the times when my hand was broken, I wrote even though I had a cast on my writing hand. I know writing has helped me to heal many times. I know that I was brought back from the brink of not knowing before from writing. Many times, through writing, I have been able to keep relationships intact that would have otherwise been destroyed. I am great at apologizing. In my past there have been people who would have surely done me great damage through their written words had I been unable to defend myself through my own written words. I hope we can get into that later on and for now you may trust my skills in this area.
This is going to be fun, really that's what all of this has been about, my blogs, my store, my books. My life hasn't all been a lot of fun yet had my attitude been different during most of it, things might have been better. If you are reading this material written by me for the first time, I can suggest that you check out my other work. I feel bad sometimes when someone asks me, what's new? What have you been up to? I am not sure what to say yet, like, you can easily look me up on Social Media and find out what is new with me. Check the internet? No, I feel like they are disappointed when they ask me and I don't know what to report. I work a lot. I spend a lot of time on my projects. I might be better at writing than I am at talking.
Often enough, I'm sure people don't know what to make of me. There are times when I look at myself in the mirror and I don't know what to make of myself. I keep working on everything in hopes that one day it's all going to come together and then it will be truly magnificent. Check it out, buy my books, follow me on Social Media, lets do this together. I am still getting better. I am an inspiration. When I was in grade seven, I wrote a Christmas themed play. I had my actors and actresses and they were doing the scenes. A few days later, another girl in my class wrote a different play, was it better than my play? We'll never know. My players ditched my play, her play was a hit, and I never wrote another play. I grew up with a bunch of Caucasian classmates. When I was in grade seven there were students that called me Wagon Burner and said other things that were very mean. It wasn't difficult for anyone to appear better than me at anything. Nevertheless, I digress. I was instrumental in her inspiration to write her own play.
I will continue to write here in kind of an informal way. There are other publications by me. I'm on YouTube, Instagram, you can click on any of the icons on the header or footer. I have been writing for more than three years at Lisa's Sober Blog. My books are all a year old or almost a year, find them in the store here at The New Lisa L'Heureux, or at Lisa's e-Store and More. This blog post was a kind of a get to know you and an invitation to return to read more later on.
Feel free to leave a comment. Like and share, if you are not my audience, share to care. My content is definitely something that will enrich someone's life if not your own. Thank you.
Have a great day.